"None of you should be looking out for your own interests, but for the interests of others"
~1 Corinthians 10:24
Our family is financially very poor. We are far below the poverty line. We started our family young, both my husband and I in our early 20's. For many many many reasons I am so happy that we started young. We both love being parents, we have a lot of energy, and it's been overall the best thing ever. The only minor detail is money. Well, maybe major, depends on how you look at it. We're definitely still getting all of our ducks in a row in that department. We've made the solid decision to have me be the stay at home parent (for many reasons) so Cosmo has been studying computer science and doing odd jobs to scrape us along. (working/studying hard, 60+ hours a week)
And I know it won't be like this forever.
And I know it won't be like this forever.
Being poor has forced us to look directly to helping our neighbor, rather than donating to the many incredible international charities or local causes. As it turns out, there are countless people in need even on our small fairly affluent island.
For men are homesick in their homes,
And strangers under the sun,
And they lay on their heads in a foreign land
Whenever the day is done.
Here we have battle and blazing eyes,
And chance and honour and high surprise,
This world is wild as an old wives' tale,
And strange the plain things are,
The earth is enough and the air is enough
For our wonder and our war;
But our rest is as far as the fire-drake swings
And our peace is put in impossible things
To an open house in the evening
Home shall men come,
To an older place than Eden
And a taller town than Rome.
To the end of the way of the wandering star,
To the things that cannot be and that are,
To the place where God was homeless
And all men are at home."
In March, our dear Rosie was born. Just as with Peter, I had a very easy pregnancy, a nearly painless homebirth, followed by every major breastfeeding issue that can occur. Rosie wasn't nursing and I was panicking. (Those postpartum hormones really don't lend a hand either). We finally got her diagnosed with both tongue and lip tie. It was a relatively easy fix, and I'm thankful for that. When we went in to get her surgery done, I had to fill out a lot of paperwork. One of the forms was to check for postpartum depression. It asked me to check off the boxes of major stressful life events.
I was shocked as I sat there checking off every box but one (I wasn't having marital difficulties, thanks be to God). It has been a very rough year. Possibly the hardest I've ever had. It had not landed though until that moment. My mom had just had a major stroke, we had just moved (twice now), we had a baby who couldn't eat, we are financially poor, and I can't remember the other things, but they were applicable at the time.
The strange thing is, I didn't notice. I had horrible PPD and anxiety after Peter was born. After Rosie was born, I was living through one of the hardest years of my life, and I was mostly okay. I credit that with my new faith in God, an active prayer life, and to all the many people who came and helped us and my family. I am eternally grateful to everyone who helped.
Cosmo and I lay in bed one of those scary nights during the weeks when we didn't know if my mom would ever walk again and decided with much sincerity that we wanted to be a helpful family.
So, although at this time we could easily be a charity case, we have turned our attention to helping others as much as we possibly can.
We make a point every week of bringing meals to families who are sick, having a hard time, or simply seem like they need to be touched by a friendly gesture. I clean and do childcare for a family who is living through chronic illness. I knit little things for people in need. I help my family. The more I turn my attention to giving, the more energy I seem to have. There are truly so many easy ways to give. Living frugally actually does a lot of good for our planet. For instance, we really try to not waste food.
"There
fared a mother driven forth
Out
of an inn to roam;
In the place where she was homeless
All men are at home.
The crazy stable close at hand,
With shaking timber and shifting sand,
In the place where she was homeless
All men are at home.
The crazy stable close at hand,
With shaking timber and shifting sand,
Grew
a stronger thing to abide and stand
Than
the square stones of Rome.
For men are homesick in their homes,
And strangers under the sun,
And they lay on their heads in a foreign land
Whenever the day is done.
Here we have battle and blazing eyes,
And chance and honour and high surprise,
But
our homes are under miraculous skies
Where
the yule tale was begun.
A
Child in a foul stable,
Where the beasts feed and foam;
Only where He was homeless
Are you and I at home;
We have hands that fashion and heads that know,
But our hearts we lost - how long ago!
Where the beasts feed and foam;
Only where He was homeless
Are you and I at home;
We have hands that fashion and heads that know,
But our hearts we lost - how long ago!
In
a place no chart nor ship can show
Under
the sky's dome.
This world is wild as an old wives' tale,
And strange the plain things are,
The earth is enough and the air is enough
For our wonder and our war;
But our rest is as far as the fire-drake swings
And our peace is put in impossible things
Where
clashed and thundered unthinkable wings
Round
an incredible star.
To an open house in the evening
Home shall men come,
To an older place than Eden
And a taller town than Rome.
To the end of the way of the wandering star,
To the things that cannot be and that are,
To the place where God was homeless
And all men are at home."
G.K Chesterton (The House of Christmas)
In March, our dear Rosie was born. Just as with Peter, I had a very easy pregnancy, a nearly painless homebirth, followed by every major breastfeeding issue that can occur. Rosie wasn't nursing and I was panicking. (Those postpartum hormones really don't lend a hand either). We finally got her diagnosed with both tongue and lip tie. It was a relatively easy fix, and I'm thankful for that. When we went in to get her surgery done, I had to fill out a lot of paperwork. One of the forms was to check for postpartum depression. It asked me to check off the boxes of major stressful life events.
I was shocked as I sat there checking off every box but one (I wasn't having marital difficulties, thanks be to God). It has been a very rough year. Possibly the hardest I've ever had. It had not landed though until that moment. My mom had just had a major stroke, we had just moved (twice now), we had a baby who couldn't eat, we are financially poor, and I can't remember the other things, but they were applicable at the time.
The strange thing is, I didn't notice. I had horrible PPD and anxiety after Peter was born. After Rosie was born, I was living through one of the hardest years of my life, and I was mostly okay. I credit that with my new faith in God, an active prayer life, and to all the many people who came and helped us and my family. I am eternally grateful to everyone who helped.
Cosmo and I lay in bed one of those scary nights during the weeks when we didn't know if my mom would ever walk again and decided with much sincerity that we wanted to be a helpful family.
So, although at this time we could easily be a charity case, we have turned our attention to helping others as much as we possibly can.
We make a point every week of bringing meals to families who are sick, having a hard time, or simply seem like they need to be touched by a friendly gesture. I clean and do childcare for a family who is living through chronic illness. I knit little things for people in need. I help my family. The more I turn my attention to giving, the more energy I seem to have. There are truly so many easy ways to give. Living frugally actually does a lot of good for our planet. For instance, we really try to not waste food.
“We
must remember that when we waste or throw away food, it's as if we're
stealing it from the table of the poor. From those who are hungry! I
invite everyone to reflect upon this problem of waste, so that
solutions to this problem can be faced with seriousness. May the
solutions lead us to a culture of solidarity and sharing with those
who need it most.” -Pope Francis
Do I throw away the half-quart of 3 day old soup my family is sick of eating, or pack it up to hand over to someone on the street?
“Truly
I say to you that with difficulty a rich person will enter into the
kingdom of heaven! And again I say to you, it is easier for a
camel to go through the eye of a needle than a rich person into the
kingdom of God.” - Mathew 19:23-24
So perhaps it is a great blessing that we are poor. When we someday have more, I'll be excited to be able to donate money too. But I'm never going to stop helping my neighbors, friends, and community. It's building up our family in so many ways. Peter often asks me "Who we be helping today, mama?" or "Are we going to clean someone's house today? Can we go now?"
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